Envious or Inconsiderate?
I’m a fan of wedding etiquette and traditions, but in today’s day and age (gee, that makes me sound old) almost anything goes. And by goes, I mean some things go right out the window! For example, I’m a BIG believer that no one should wear white to a wedding except for the Bride, but you’ll notice that some people (mainly girls) do. Tisk, tisk. I always joke with my bestie that if someone shows up to my wedding wearing a white dress I’ll pull a major Bridezilla moment and have her ask them to go home and change. Call me crazy, but I think it’s disrespectful.You either chose to wear white because you’re clueless, or you chose it because you want to stand out and be noticed. Not cool.
I remember my Mom telling me about her wedding and how she didn’t like my Dad’s brothers wives, but like a good girl, she put up with their nonsense for the love of my father. Prior to their winter wedding in 1977, she asked the wives to not wear white or black to the wedding. It wasn’t customary back then to wear black as it was still considered funeral attire. My mom wanted to make sure that they followed proper etiquette and also made this request because she didn’t want white or black in any of the family photos which she knew these two women would be in. And wouldn’t you know it…one wore white and the other wore black. All together now…pft! If that was the only request my Mom had of them, I don’t know why they couldn’t oblige. Perhaps they didn’t like her either and simply wanted to stick it to her? I have no idea, but my biggest issue with this is the lack of respect. I know the saying “Do it for the Bride” has gotten out of hand because some Brides take advantage of the title, but if you are a good friend (or family member) then you should do your best to fulfill her requests. Unless of course they are against your values or beliefs….but when it comes to attire, are you being envious or inconsiderate?
I’m reminded of someone I once knew who was a Bridesmaid and kicked up a stink about the colour of shoes she was asked to wear because she didn’t think it complimented her dress. All of the Bridesmaids were wearing the same shoes because the dresses were cocktail length. This was one small request from the Bride who was pretty reasonable about what she asked of her girls. So, it makes me wonder – why the fuss? It’s shoes. Or it’s a dress colour. You can wear whatever shoes or colour you want the other 364 days of the year. I just don’t get why some girls feel the need to go against the grain. Are they envious of the Bride? Are they using this opportunity to seek revenge from a past conflict? No matter what the reason is, if you’ve accepted an invite to a wedding, or have said yes to being a Bridesmaid, then you should do your best to follow proper etiquette or at the very least portray some good manners.
Have you seen a bad Bridesmaid or family member in action? Or were you the rule-bending Bridesmaid? At the end of the day whether you like the Bride or not, all I ask is that you be respectful. Weddings are stressful enough as it is, no one wants added stress from someone who simply doesn’t want to play nice.
So, play nice girls. A dress or a pair of shoes isn’t worth a major blow out and potentially hurting someone’s feelings or being branded as the a-hole of the evening. Right?
RSVP to save!
To celebrate our 5th Anniversary, we are sending out invites to Brides-to-be to save 10% on The Big Day package. This offer is valid for the first 5 couples to RSVP for their 2014 or 2015 wedding. If you’re engaged and want Bride’s Butler with you on your special day to ensure all of your fine details, hard work and plans are executed properly by a professional team, then send us an email so we can send you an invite.
For the guys: Picking out a ring
Attention boys! So, you want to pop the question to the girl you love and couldn’t imagine spending the rest of your life without, right? Asking her seems like the easy part, but in order to do so you have to have a ring. Picking out a ring may seem daunting, so we’ve got 4 easy steps to help you pick out the perfect diamond for your soon-to-be fiancee.
1. Budget.
Empty your pockets, piggy bank and cup holders in your car. You know what I mean, I bet there are tons of coins in there. They say the average guy should budget to spend a minimum of 3 months salary on a ring. What do I think of that? I say, spend what you can afford. If you have to purchase her ring from Kijiji, then do it. She might like that it’s vintage – only you know how she will react to a ‘used’ ring. If you can only afford a few thousand, which is standard, then shop around. Look for deals and read reviews. Do your homework – ask friends, you never know who knows someone that might help you with a sale. Either way, save up for a few months so that you’re at least able to take your lady out for a fine dinner after you’ve popped the question.
2. Be Sherlock Holmes
You will need to be a little sneaky in the months and weeks leading up to buying the ring – and I don’t mean sneaky as in sleazy. You may have to tell a few white lies as to where you’re going and what you’re up to,but it will all be worth it in the end. Just make sure you play your cards right, you wouldn’t want her to think you are cheating or on the verge of a break-up because you’re acting weird around her. Put your thinking cap on and grab a magnifying glass because you’ll have to play sleuth. Before you buy a ring you will need to know her ring size (try to ‘borrow’ one from her jewelry box that she won’t know is missing to get it sized), you will need to know what type of gold she prefers (yellow, white or rose) and what kind of cut she likes (princess, cushion, round) and lastly, will she want a solitaire or multiple stones? If you want to be totally ballsy, you can just get her ring size and then go shopping for a ring you like. Even though she’s the one wearing it for the rest of her life, you are the one giving it to her. So, feel free to pick one you think she’ll like, and for everyone’s sake, let’s hope she does!
3. Shop.
Check out a few stores (start at the mall to make your life easy). Visit the standard jewlery shops and ask them questions. You will learn a whole lot about rings and diamonds, which means you are an educated buyer. Bravo.If you are on a strict budget, look for sales. Buying a discontinued ring could save you hundreds, even thousands. Just make sure the ring you choose has a matching band. You don’t want to pick one that doesn’t have a mate and then have to pay for a custom band. Can we say sh*tshow?
4. Propose!
After the last nerve racking weeks (or months) you are now ready to pop the question! How you do this is all up to you. Once the wedding planning starts, you may not get much of a say on decisions, so take advantage of making this decision all on your own. Don’t copy a buddy, or reenact a scene from a movie. Be original. Think of what she might like. Be creative. But mostly, just be yourself.
Oh! And as a lady, here are a few extra tips to help you out….
1. Ask her Father (or parents) for their blessing if you have a close relationship with them. They might be expecting it, or they could care less, but doing so shows that you care and are taking this decision seriously.
2. Try to use her full name – it sounds cheesy, but you see it all the time in the movies and most girls want a swoon worthy moment they can re-tell over and over to their friends.
3. Lastly, if she is a girly girl, make sure her nails are done. She won’t want to show off her rock with chipped polish. Send her out for a manicure before you pop the question, it will get you scoring big points well before she even says “YES”.
Good luck!!
Re-brand Reveal!
It’s been 4 months since we signed on the dotted line for a re-brand of our logo, website and blog with the talented duo at Ashley _ Malone . The time has come to reveal the new look and we couldn’t be more pleased that it all came together on our 5th Anniversary!
Here is what Ashley had to say about the re-brand and working with Diane of Bride’s Butler;
I have been friends with Diane for a few years, actually the day I met her, I mentioned I was engaged and she went on to tell me that she was a wedding coordinator. After getting to know her, I could quickly tell that she was perfect for this business. Diane is organized, on-the-ball and forthcoming. She doesn’t let things slip through her fingers and knows when to speak up, or politely keep quiet. I could just picture her being an amazing coordinator the day I met her!
When I brought up to Diane that Malone and I were branching out from our corporate clients to focus on creative entrepreneurs, she was intrigued about what we could do for her brand. Secretly, I’d been wanting to get my hands on it for a while. Alas, when we officially launched in April, Diane was our first client – hooray!
We started with our brand and website workbook to get to know the ins and outs of her business, as well as Diane’s vision for her new brand. There were a few key elements she wanted incorporated into the design: chalkboard type fonts, an oval shape and a bow tie – to keep in line with her previous logo. Don’t forget, butler’s wear bow ties! With her inspiration in tow, we came up with a few variations and finally settled on the lovely number below. The logo represents Diane’s love for rustic chic, with a touch of country (i’ve seen her wear cowboy boots on a few occasions).
The key to a successful brand is to not only represent the owners personality and vision but to also attract the companies ideal client. Diane is fully equipped with all the tools to work with her dream clientele and execute fabulous weddings for years to come!
Congrats Diane on your new brand, we had a blast working with you and can’t wait to see the results!
xo Ashley _ Malone
