Inviting kids to a wedding…do you or don’t you? It’s a question many couples will ask themselves when planning their guest list. Some almost newlyweds are all for little ones taking part in their special day, while others are dead set on not having any kiddos in attendance.
So, what should you do?
Well…here’s our take on the matter.
If you are having your own kids, nieces/nephews or little cousins in your wedding party and choose not to allow guests to bring their children to your wedding then you should make sure that your little people are only at your ceremony. They can be on hand for photos before and after the ceremony and take part in your nuptials as Ring Bearer and Flower Girl but then that’s it – they go home. They shouldn’t be at the reception running around, dancing and having fun among your guests if there are guests there that would have liked to have their child(ren) there as well. A good way to avoid hurting any feelings is to simply say that you are trying to have a small wedding and won’t be inviting children. Or, tell your friend who might be offended her kid isn’t invited by telling her you wanted to give her and hubs a night out sans kids for once. Then, you look like a good friend again. But once you decide no children, you have to stick to that. You can’t allow your cousin to bring her newborn, but your co-worker can’t bring her toddler.
If don’t want any kids at your wedding in any fashion, then you must be careful with how you word your invitation. An Invitation Specialist can assist you with this but typically the outer envelope is addressed to the couple invited (i.e. Mr. _ Mrs. A. Richardson) and then the interior envelope is addressed to exactly who is invited (i.e. Melissa _ Andrew). This helps state just who you want to attend. Another way is to have the RSVP already filled in with their names in the M__________ spot so that they don’t go ahead and write Melissa, Andrew, Jimmy _ Jane. I prefer the first suggestion, but as mentioned, ask your Invitation Specialist.
If you want to have kids at your wedding then be sure to invite the whole damn fam. Address the invitation to “The Richardson’s” or “The Richardson Family” and then on the interior envelope list all of the names (i.e. Melissa, Andrew, Jimmy _ Jane). Most times the lady’s name is written first, followed by the husband and then the children from oldest to youngest. Be sure to find out how old these kids are if you don’t already know. If they are 16+, they can get their own invitation so they feel like an adult (remember, they likely can drive at this age) and if they are 18+ and in a relationship you will have to invite their girl/boyfriend as well.
Some couples who are anti kids attending don’t even want them at the ceremony, which is very hard to do. Many times I will see kids misbehaving during the ceremony and or crying because well, they are bored. You can’t kick anyone out for bringing their child, but you can ask someone to kindly escort them out should their child be interrupting your ceremony (yes, hello – that would be our job). If you don’t want kids at the ceremony, try to have your wedding at one location where guests will be at for the whole event. It will be harder for them to bring Jimmy _ Jane if there isn’t much of a break between festivities. But, as always – be honest with your friends and family about your desire to not have kids in attendance.
Kids are cute and they can take some of the attention away from you if you’re not overly into having all eyes on you. But kids can also misbehave and not cooperate – so choose wisely. Chat with this with your hubby-to-be for after all it is your wedding and your guests should respect your wishes. If they don’t then, make note for one day little Jimmy or Jane will get hitched too.