Did you read the last post about a guest that took part in an inappropriate activity over the main course at a wedding? Check it out here if you missed it.
In today’s post we’ll talk about what you can do as a Bride or Groom planning your guest list and the kind of guests you might ask yourself, “Should they make the list?”
The first thing you can do when making your list is to only invite friends, family, co-workers and such that you know and trust. Sure you want to invite your old elementary school friend, or the kid you grew up next door to, but if you don’t really know these people now – don’t invite them. People change, and you don’t want to be surprised (or disappointed) with how they turned out on your most special day.
Now, no one is perfect – we know this, but you have to be realistic while planning your wedding. When we say realistic we mean by setting a manageable budget, maintaining your expectations and knowing what kind of personality and behaviors your guests have. When creating your guest list keep these types of guests in mind:
The Class Clown. This is the guy with no filter and thinks his sense of humor is oh-so-hilarious. He can sometimes be brash, hurtful and immature. Do not let the class clown give a speech – unless of course he’s the Best Man then you might want to have someone, like your coordinator review it before he releases the ghosts in your Grooms closet.
Troubled Guests. Troubled can mean whatever you want it to depending on your level of comfort, values, culture or religion. This could be guests suffering from depression, going through a divorce, has an overly negative outlook or are into drugs/crime.
The Party Animal. Sometimes the Class Clown is this person as well. Typically the Party Animal drinks a lot. Your guests are going to drink, and some will get intoxicated, but if you’re inviting someone who drinks heavily, binges or outright has a drinking problem – beware.
The Slut. I hate to say it, but almost everyone knows one. You know, she’s the girl that will wear a dress shorter than short, and will make it her mission to hook up on your wedding night. Casual flirtation is welcome at weddings and a lot of times people do hook up at weddings and end up dating and sometimes even get married themselves, but look out for the slut. When building your guest list and adding her name do you immediate picture her making out in the corner with your adorable cousin? If you answered yes, perhaps you can invite her to the Bachelorette, but skip the wedding invite.
The Ex. Do not invite your ex or your Grooms ex to your wedding. Unless of course you’re that one off couple that married your ex’s sister/brother. Past loves should stay in the past.
The New Parents. Some people don’t want to have kids at their wedding and that’s just fine, but beware that some guests, specifically new parents who might feel slighted that you didn’t include little Bobby in the invite. If you’re worried about some guests bringing their children, be sure to state on the invite that it’s a celebration for adults only. And if you need to, sit down with your friend who’s a parent and explain to them that you’d love to spend time with them and their kid(s), just not on your wedding day.
Weddings are about celebrating with family and friends and we know that you won’t be able to totally avoid inviting some of these characters – so next post we’ll discuss how to deal with unruly guests. Stay tuned!
Over the past 5 years of coordinating weddings, I’ve seen some pretty interesting and sometimes embarrassing behavior from guests and wedding party members. There’s been a few times I’ve cringed while the Best Man gave his speech (or rather a roast to the Groom). I’ve shaken my head in disbelief at conversations overheard in the lobby or the bathroom, and I’ve looked on in awe at how alcohol makes people think they’re as good of a dancer as Michael Jackson in his Thriller days.
Now don’t get me wrong – weddings are meant to be fun – a celebration in honor of two people in love. I’m all for everyone having a good time, for that’s why the Bride & Groom are hosting such a fete. But, let’s remember that some people look at weddings like they would a nightclub, or a high school prom. Depending on the type of guests that are in attendance, things can sometimes get a little wild.
As I said, I’ve witnessed some crazy things from guests while coordinating weddings, and thankfully none have been overly inappropriate. A few weeks ago I heard a story from a pair of friends that are newlyweds, and I hope to never ever encounter what one of their guests did! Without crossing any lines, I’ll let you use your imagination with this one….a female guest in a dress brought a random guy as her date and while it’s proper etiquette to not have your elbows on the table during dinner, this guy took it to another level and didn’t have his hands visible during the main course. So to say the least, he skipped the main and went straight for dessert. Thankfully the Bride & Groom didn’t serve Tiramisu which is made with ‘lady fingers’. BAH!
So when attending a wedding, ask yourself – do you want to be THAT guest that people talk about over brunch the next day – or even weeks, months and years after the wedding? Dress appropriately, don’t conduct lewd acts in public, pace yourself when drinking and just be mindful of your actions. Have a good time, share some laughs, flirt a little and party, but do yourself a favor and don’t be THAT guest.
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|The awesome wedding party for Brooke & Richard’s wedding, Sept 2012|
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